1. We pee sitting down. Enough with the sprinkling on the toilet seat already. Do you know how hard it is to hover in a squat with your skirt hiked up, holding a purse, and wearing high heels? And that gets about 12 times more challenging when we’ve been drinking.

2. Boyfriends and husbands, the reason we take the greater part of an hour during our makeup in such a fashion that we look like we’re NOT wearing makeup is because we know your friends imagine waking up next to us in the morning. So really, we’re doing you a favor.

Admit it. Friends could be pretty judgmental and meddlesome about the people we date.

3. We want you to buy us jewelry, but we’re petrified you’re going to choose something your mother would wear.

4. We expect you to be empathetic, if not sympathetic. Actually, we’d like very much for you to be anything other than just pathetic.

Women are not teenage girls. Flowers and a sheepish smile do not cheer us up anymore.

5. No, tampons don’t feel like anything.

6. Girls go to the bathroom in groups because they don’t trust each other, or you. Real women will go only when they need to.

“Why do they have to drag me in here? Jealous their guys might like me MORE?”

7. False eyelashes make us feel better about ourselves because they draw attention up our eyes and away from everything else you’re staring at.

8. Saying something like “you’re hot” is infinitely more likely to get you a smile than just staring.

9. Bikini waxes hurt more than you think.

10. ..but we know they make you happy. Making you happy is actually why we do about 80% of what we do. Don’t forget to say thank you.

Source: Esquire Philippines November 2011

The only stuff I am probably capable to teach my nephew (and all my younger cousins) include pulling pranks, talkblocking adults, and wearing make up.

When my little cousin Julia used to ask me where her mom is, I often point to her left chest and say, “Nasa puso mo.” and then the kids would laugh hysterically, getting all rowdy and shit.

Her older sister Alyana seem to idolize me. Even when she was still a toddler, she already likes it when I put make up on her face. She likes dressing up as a teenager, always looking girly and ladylike. Now that she’s eight, she wears dresses and skirts and makes it a point to have a hairbrush and loose powder in her purse. Her mom wouldn’t contest. I was like that when I was eight.

The funny thing is, whenever I’m at their place and offer to help with her homework, she leaves me doing the whole thing and never listens to me when I explain how I got the answers. But if she sees a pair of earrings and some cute bangles that I’m wearing, she eagerly chats with me! It’s like suddenly, we’re best friends!

Same goes with my nephew, Renzo. Ever since I moved back home, I spend every single day with him and we’ll play with his toy cars or just fool around the house. He’s only two years old but I already want him to be able to define the basic colors and single-digit numbers. Why? Because it’s doable. I’ve seen it from other kids. So there’s no freakin way, my baby boy could not pull that off. 

What did he pick up from me instead? Saying the catchphrase “Weeeh?”, calling waitresses “Miss”, and “Cheers”-ing our drinks.

Maybe that’s why I was never fond of teachers. Except those who have other jobs besides teaching. Like college professors. Trust me, from the ones I had since daycare, I could only pick 10 whom I actually liked.

Teachers are supposed to be role models. And I can’t be like that. I welcome silliness, and bended philosophies of kids. I think that’s what makes them brilliant.

But I’m not giving up on myself. If I can’t be a teacher to my nephew, I could be his best friend. At least I’ll get to know all of his secrets, and give him advice someday. And if he turns out to be a successful, good man because of all the advice I gave him, I think that makes me better than a teacher. :)

I wouldn’t mind having that, I mean those, I mean her, as my teacher. :)

This is an excerpt from one of my former high school teacher’s (one of the best) blog entry.

The 90s

The 90s was a better time for the music industry and the music-driven generation. So many great songs, albums, musical acts. It was a time when casettes were still in, no such thing as iTunes and probably the only form of piracy are those cheap recorded songs straight from FM radio stations. No downloads, Torrent, or SoundCloud. Only good music.